How about increasing your enjoyment and your awareness at the same time? Sounds good right? Are you up for trying a fun and simple experiment? Can’t remember what you just ate? Experiment with putting your fork, spoon, shovel or food down between bites.

This tiny action slows down and draws your attention to what you’re eating. It also gives you a minute to check in with yourself, become more “aware” of how your food actually tastes, it’s texture, and how full or hungry you still are. I know what I’m suggesting might sound pretty radical, that’s because it is. Eating has become so automatic for most of us that soon after a meal or snack we don’t even know what or how much we’ve eaten. Like many things in life, eating is meant to be a pleasurable experience. Wouldn’t it be great to get more pleasure out of what we’re already doing?  Before you pick up the fork each time, you might ask yourself “am I still hungry or do I want more just because it tastes good?”

When we continue to eat solely for the pleasure that tasting food gives us and we are no longer hungry, we’re attempting to satisfy an emotional need with food. That’s called emotional eating. It’s much more beneficial and kind to ourselves if we can address our emotional needs with choices that bring us fun and enjoyment instead of eating food when we’re not hungry.

What kind of choices am I talking about?  The best ones are things you love to do. It could be something like reading a book, taking a walk, talking with a friend, engaging in a sport or hobby, getting a massage, watching a favorite movie that always makes you feel good, taking a drive to the coast, etc. The more time you spend doing things you love the less important food becomes. You don’t need to take my word for it, in fact, please don’t. Try it out for yourself.

With love, Jackie

P.S. Not having done this for a while, I experimented with it over a fabulous lunch the other day. It felt as though I had never really tasted this wonderful dish before, which I’ve had many times. I also realized that unlike previous occasions, I didn’t need to finish the whole thing. I never would have known.

As many of you know I have a severely autistic son who can exhibit behaviors at times that challenge me and the many other helpful people who care for him. He does this out of great anxiety (he is frightened) not out of wishing to cause harm to himself or anyone else.

Yesterday I received such a phone call. After he had been doing well for a short period of time, another behavior surfaced yesterday creating a dilemma for one of his caregivers. This has been happening, not infrequently, over the past year and a half as we have sought to stabilize him with medication and changing the way we relate to him.

In the past these phone calls, and there have been many, have triggered my worst fears and feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. More than anything else in my life they have had the power to take me instantly to my darkest, saddest places.

But not yesterday! Yesterday I decided that was not going to happen anymore. I was done with my automatic pattern of heading to hopelessness and powerlessness regarding my son. I was going to make a new choice about how I chose to think about these situations. I decided that whether or not I chose to feel upset, the outcome of the situation would not change. Whatever was going to happen as a result of his behavior would happen whether or not I decided to feel bad about it. My feeling bad or sad did not change anything, it just made me feel awful.

Yesterday I took my power back. I chose to think differently about it. I decided to focus on these thoughts; everyone in my son’s life that helps care for him is on his side and is concerned for his well-being. We are all a team dedicated to his best interests. As with the many times before dealing with difficult behaviors, we will figure this out too. That felt ever so much better. Then I was able to focus on what, if anything, I could contribute to finding a solution.

I know from past experience, that when I would change my thoughts or response to other situations that had less impact on me, that it will get easier each time I practice my new thoughts. It’s just like lifting weights. You start out with 1 pound, and pretty soon, over time, it gets easier and you are lifting 30 pounds or more easily. The same is true for your thoughts. At first it doesn’t feel natural or come easily, but then over time, as we practice it becomes our new automatic response.

Are there things in your life that automatically have the ability to take you to an uncomfortable or painful place? If so, can you imagine changing the way you think about or respond to that situation?  It is within your control. It is your choice to continue the way you have always responded or choose a new more positive, supportive and helpful response that leaves you feeling better instead of worse.
This can be the tiniest little step, like just changing a thought. As you do this, please remember to be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. You are worth being treated well by yourself and others.  How you feel matters!

With love, Jackie

Who doesn’t enjoy being the beneficiary of an act of kindness, right? Here’s the good news, kindness benefits the giver and the receiver! Any kindness we show to ourselves or another person, any positive thought we think, anything good we do for our environment, benefits not only us but the world we live in too.

Here are just a few examples:

When we make time to take care of ourselves – we feel better! When we feel better our life flows more smoothly, we are happier. We then bring this good feeling into our relationships.

When we smile at someone as we’re shopping – many times they smile back and now we both feel a little better. For a moment, we are connected by a good feeling.  This good feeling influences our next choice and maybe theirs too.

When we garden or plant a flower – we feel good, maybe even delighted and plants are good for our environment.

When we’re in traffic and we let someone go ahead of us – we know how good it feels when someone does that for us, and now traffic continues to flow smoothly. Perhaps this helps someone get to their destination on time.

Can you see the “not so hidden”message in the examples above?
Choosing kindness leaves us feeling good!

Even when we don’t see the direct result of how our act of kindness has effected the “big picture” be assured it has because what we think, say and do matters. It has a ripple effect out into our lives and our world.

I like to think of it this way, with every choice we make we’re either making life better or “not better” for ourselves and others. Who wouldn’t want to make their own life just a little better? Why not experiment? Be aware when you’re choosing kindness and see how it feels. For extra credit, try responding in kindness when you are feeling anything but kind in the moment.

“Be nice to everyone you meet, they are fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
-idkk

With love, Jackie

I had to laugh when I put the word “recipe” in the title. Does a dish that requires no cooking qualify as a recipe? For me, a non-cooking person who likes to eat yummy food that fills me up, it qualifies. For those of you who are not big fans of vegetables, this is a tasty way to get them in, disguised in one of your favorite soups.

Leftover or Refrigerator “Stew”

-One cup of a broth-based soup you like – I chose Progresso’s Chicken and Dumplings. Progresso has a line of soups I like that are less than 100 cal per cup and less than one serving of carbohydrate (~15grams) per serving. You could just as easily use a homemade soup you made or picked up at the grocery store.

– 1 cup or more of a a steamed, cooked or frozen vegetable

– 1 left over chicken breast, hamburger or veggie patty chopped up

– 1 tablespoon of Parmesan cheese – if you don’t like Parmesan you could use
1-2 tablespoons of cheddar, jack or whatever you like

Directions  You can either throw all these ingredients together, except the cheese, in a large bowl and heat them up on the stove or in the microwave, or you can heat each one individually and put them together. I like to heat them altogether as I think the flavors start to blend and it’s easier. After it’s heated to the temperature you desire, sprinkle with cheese.
As always, it is my wish that you’ll take time to bring your attention to what you’re eating and greatly enjoy your food.

With love, Jackie