One way to have more peace of mind is to stop being judgmental of others. Being judgmental means having a harsh or critical point of view of someone or something.
Here are just a few reasons why letting go of judgment is helpful.
It can be liberating. Not judging can be extremely liberating when we allow people to be who they are and make the choices that they do. Inside of ourselves we can release others from the need to measure up to our standards. Does anyone want to be judged by someone else’s standards?
We feel better.… It doesn’t feel good inside when we judge others.
We get unstuck…. Being judgmental keeps us stuck in old patterns of thinking that bring us results we don’t like. It brings negativity into our thoughts.
It allows us to see ourselves more clearly… If we’re judging others, we don’t need to take a look at what needs changing about ourselves. This is actually the reason we judge in the first place.
It allows us to be more loving… being judgmental is the opposite of being loving and kind.
In order to be less judgmental, a helpful first step is to stop judging and criticizing ourselves (see blog entry 1 Feb.2015). Once we’ve eliminated our own self judgment (and yes, that’s really possible), it becomes much easier to stop judging others.
If you’d like to increase your peace of mind and give up the need to judge yourself or others, here’s a simple step-by-step process.
1. Clarify the judgmental thought you’re having and don’t criticize yourself for having it. Example: That person is talking very loudly, and that bothers me. What’s wrong with them?
2. Ask yourself “What thought could I choose that would be slightly better, less judgmental?” Example: I’m not sure what’s going on with that person, but they’re very loud. They, or the person they’re talking with, may not hear well. They may be mentally challenged or frightened.
3. Then, anytime you catch yourself having a negative judgmental thought toward yourself, another person or situation, replace it with a different one that brings you more peace or comfort. Wouldn’t it feel better to view others or ourselves with compassion instead of judgment?
Wouldn’t you prefer others “cut you the same slack”? The more you do this, the more automatic it becomes until eventually compassion becomes your first choice. That sounds like a win-win to me!
“When you judge others, you do not define them you define yourself.” – Earl Nightingale
With love, Jackie