I remember the first day I felt amazing. What did I feel like? I felt peaceful, joyful, and I felt grounded. Nothing more was needed or wanted. I was free from anger, fear and the negativity of my past. I felt empowered, more than “good enough” and “perfect” for me. I had no need to compare myself to others. I was finally able to embrace my differences, despite past criticisms from myself and others.

Someone once asked me what joy feels like. This was my answer, “joy feels like I get to, instead of I need to or I have to”. It is a feeling that can bring you to your knees with gratitude. As I moved through my first day imbued with that feeling, I said to myself “this is enough. To experience this for even one day is enough.” What stood out for me was the contrast between decades of living with varying degrees of emotional discomfort and now one day was enough? Yes, it was.

My heartfelt wish is that someday you too experience this “amazing” feeling. What is needed to get from emotional discomfort to feeling joy, or at least feeling better? I offer these ideas which are all contained in the “pages” of my blog.
– Making new choices about anything and everything we don’t feel good about
– Doing away with self-criticism
– Learning from each experience or choice we make by looking at the outcome. Did it leave you with a good feeling or not? If not, try a different choice.
– Refusing to repeat old patterns (choices) that bring us pain
– Setting intentions for what we do want. In other words, creating the outcomes or results in our lives on purpose instead of by default. How do we do this? By taking the tiniest of steps in the direction we would like our lives to go instead of just reacting to whatever comes our way.
– Spending time daily, (just a few minutes) imagining or visualizing how we might feel when we have what we want. This exercise produces good feelings, and when we feel good we make better choices.
-Honoring or respecting your precious self by treating yourself with kindness. How? By doing more of what you love, having people in our lives who uplift us, eating healthy, and taking care of our physical body.
YOUR FEELINGS MATTER!

I believe if it’s possible for anyone to experience this feeling of joy it is possible for everyone. What about you? Do you believe your life can be any different? Can you imagine a life full of joy, kindness and experiences that leave you feeling fabulous? If you can’t, you may want to start with an intention of being able to believe it.
If you can, how about choosing one tiny new step you could take today?

Your “amazing” life is waiting for you. It is created by your choices.
What is your next choice creating?

With love, Jackie

As I was listening to my dance instructor’s words the other night it hit me. Contained in what he was saying about learning the dance step, was the same approach available to us to lighten and brighten our lives. It was a metaphor for guiding ourselves to a wonderful life.

Here’s essentially what he said, “keep dancing because I need to see where the problems are. When I see where they are, we can fix them. I can’t fix them if I don’t know what they are. And when we find one, we will keep giving it our attention and adjusting your steps until you are comfortable, then we’ll move on to the next one.”

How do we use my dance instructor’s message so we get more pleasure in our lives?

1. Pinpoint the problem – Name the thing that’s bringing you an uneasy or bad feeling.

2. Do something different, ANYTHING! – When the uncomfortable situation comes up again, experiment with a new reaction from you. For example, this could be how you choose to react, your thoughts or what you choose to say. This would be a small step in a different direction.

3.   Ask yourself,  are you comfortable with the results of your new choice? – Is it moving you in the direction want to go? Does it make you feel better or worse? Is there anything else you could you do to make the situation even better? Store that idea in your mind for next time and give it a try.

4. Keep experimenting with a new response or choice until you feel comfortable.

5. Next seemingly impossible problem? – Repeat “the dance”

“There are shortcuts to happiness, and “dancing” is one of them.” – Vicki Baum

With love, Jackie

SUGAR

Since sugar is such a big topic these days I thought I’d share my thoughts about it in this blog. Sugar by itself it is neither good nor bad. The positive or negative effects of sugar result from how we choose to consume it. In order to make choices about our consumption, it’s helpful to have some information.

Here’s a little-known fact: every 4 grams of sugar equals 1 teaspoon. (The spoon you use every day is a teaspoon)

– Who knows what 4 grams of sugar looks like, not many of us. But we all know what a teaspoon looks like.

If you look on the food item’s nutrition label you will see under “Carbohydrates” the listing for “Sugar”. As you read the number of grams there, divide them by 4 and you will now know how many teaspoons of sugar are contained in one serving of this item. For example, in a 6 ounce container ( just a little less than one cup) of one popular brand of low-fat yogurt, it states there are 36 grams of sugar which equals 9 teaspoons in 6 ounces. In another brand I picked up there were 12 grams which equals 3 teaspoons. Can you visualize 9 teaspoons of sugar (like the spoon you use every day) in a 6 ounce container of yogurt? Just for fun, take a moment to measure out 9 teaspoons of sugar on a plate. Would you choose to eat 9 spoonfuls ? How does it feel when you visualize it?

Here’s another important thing to know. All sugar is not created equal. There are naturally occurring sugars like fructose, the sugar in fruit, and lactose, the type of sugar in dairy products. Why does this matter? Because naturally occurring sugars like fructose and lactose generally come packaged with fiber, fat or nutrients (vitamins, minerals and antioxidants). Because of this our body processes these more natural sources of sugar more slowly, which has beneficial effects. If you’re interested, you can look under the “Ingredients” on the label and see if there’s any added sugar. It can appear in many forms, here’s just a few of them, sucrose, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, maltose, dextrose, anything that ends in “ose”, brown sugar, cane sugar, beet sugar, honey and many more.

So, while you’re in the privacy of your own home just grab something you eat frequently and take a look at the label. How many grams of sugar does it say are in this item? Divide that number by 4 and you will have your answer for one serving. As you visualize or measure out this many spoonfuls of sugar, what do you think? Does this contribute to your intention for your personal health and fitness? If not you can always chose again, no self-judgement is necessary.

The theme of this blog is “feeling better”. I have experienced how powerful it is to have information that we can actually use to bring us better health if we choose. My intention is to offer things that I have learned that might contribute to a lighter, brighter more healthful life for you, inside and out.

With love, Jackie

There are many people in my son’s life and mine, who are especially kind to us. People who go out of their way because of his special needs. I’ve asked them in the past “why”, and this has been their response; “there by the grace of God go I”.

Their comment surprised me but I think I get it. They were saying they’re grateful they didn’t have a disabled child and perhaps because of that, they’re now choosing to make life a little easier for us. It’s true that I’ve found life difficult at times because of my son’s autism. However, repeatedly confronting the challenges it has brought, has led me to a sense of peacefulness no matter what comes. It made me wonder how someone finds contentment when facing life’s biggest challenges.

What journey did I take from the time he was first diagnosed and I felt “shock and awe”, (it felt “otherworldly”) to my current state of contentment? “Abandoning ship” was not an option because I had a precious little boy who needed his mom. That left me only one other choice. Change the way I thought about the situation. I must be honest and tell you it was “messy”. It happened gradually over many years and required me to change in numerous ways.  With great reluctance, I eventually let go of the way I thought things were “supposed” to be and tried on some new ideas. The part that really amazes me to this day is that it ever happened at all!

What about you? Are there things in your life, current, past or future, that you feel there’s no hope of changing? I’m here to tell you, that’s never true! Though like me, you may need to be patient with yourself and utilize the help of other resources, you always have the power to make a choice that leaves you feeling a little better. But making that choice is up to you. You can’t change the past but you can change how you think about it so that you feel a little better instead of how you usually feel. If you’re wondering how to do this, here’s my suggestion. Experiment with new thoughts (that you actually believe) until you find one that makes you feel better. You will FEEL it when you find it. And when your old thought comes up again, and it will, replace it with the one that feels better.

With love, Jackie

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“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”

– Pablo Picasso

Most of us have heard the idea that no two snowflakes are alike. Perhaps like me, you think this is an amazing expression of nature at work. But guess what? The same applies to all of us! No two people are exactly alike! Not only our DNA, but our life experiences and how we interpret them make us unique.

I’d like to use the example of a jigsaw puzzle to illustrate my point. In a jigsaw puzzle there’s no one piece that matters more than any other regardless of its shape, size or place in the puzzle. It takes every piece to complete the puzzle. Though each piece plays a different role and has different characteristics, no one piece is more important than another. Diversity reigns when it comes to jigsaw puzzles.

Just as the fun of jigsaw puzzles and the beauty of nature are related to their diversity and contrast, so is our life. The purpose of our lives can be found in expressing what is unique or different in each of us. As we express our uniqueness, “we get happy”! The very characteristics about ourselves, that perhaps when we were younger, made us feel “different” or bad about ourselves, are our special gifts, our interests or abilities.

How do we figure out what is unique about ourselves? Here’s a suggestion. Take a private moment and recall the times in your life when you’ve been most happy and ask yourself; “What was I doing? When have I been so involved in something that I’ve happily lost track of time? When have I felt my absolute best?” If you can’t recall any of these times, construct an imaginary day of your dreams and look at it’s elements and qualities.

This is what I believe. Everyone has a gift to give. The special contribution only we can make is already inside of us waiting to be expressed. Whatever your gift is it will be beneficial to people or your life in some way. Even if your gift may not seem unique, I’m an idea person but many people have good ideas, it is the way in which you give your gift that makes it like no other.

Giving our gift has a positive rippling effect in our world we can’t always see. When we’re giving our gift, we feel better (ok, maybe even fabulous). When we feel better, our experience of life is better and everything and everyone our life touches benefits. How good would it feel when we near the end of our lives to know that we’ve found and been able to give that which only we could give? And, because we did, we leave this world a little better off!

With love, Jackie

I can’t remember when I first heard this quote or who said it, but it surprised me. My first thought was “Why wouldn’t I care about what other people think of me?” After reflecting on it for a while I understood. When we think enough of ourselves, and approve of ourselves and we like ourselves, it doesn’t really matter what other people think of us, we’re good! The opposite is also true. As long as were looking for outside approval, we’ll never be “good enough” because we can’t please everyone or control what they think. Wouldn’t it feel better to be self-approved?

When we’re “self-approved” we no longer need to do things that would make other people happy at our expense to gain their approval. We also stop telling ourselves “we should” do certain things that we really don’t want to do just so that others will be pleased with our behavior and approve of us. Instead, making choices that leave us feeling good becomes more important because our own happiness matters. We have become a priority to ourselves!

Here’s something I learned. Whenever we wonder what someone thinks about something we’ve said or done, it’s really our own self that questions it! It’s not about what another person thinks. It’s a reflection of our own doubt or judgment. Think about it for a minute. When we feel good or confident about something we’ve done, we’re not usually wondering what someone else thinks. When we’re unsure about something we’ve said or done, we tend to wonder what other people think (of us).

The truth is we’re always doing the best we can in every moment. What we said or did may not have turned out exactly the way we wanted, but instead of seeking approval from others, what about checking in with yourself? How did it leave you feeling? If it didn’t feel good to you, you can change your choice next time. Because guess what, “next time” is coming soon. Each time I make a choice that leaves me feeling a little uneasy, I find it helpful to ask myself, “(next time) what can I do differently so that when this is over, I feel good about how I handled it?” It’s one small step that can leave you feeling better NOW.

With love, Jackie

I recently took a trip back home to Wisconsin to visit my family. Our tribe is composed of people who are politically right, left and center. We have those who have practiced conservative religion for a lifetime and those with no religion. We have vegans and meat eaters, those who hunt and fish and those who wouldn’t harm a bug.

The time we spent together daily was meaningful, playful and full of love. I couldn’t help but reflect on how rich the experience was because of all this diversity. I also wondered how we all flowed together so easily when such differences have a tendency to separate people instead of bringing them together. This is what I came up with. Love, in the form of acceptance can transcend any differences. We all seemed to accept each other as we were. No one was trying to make their point or influence someone else’s point of view. We enjoyed what was “original” about each other, we had fun, and we focused on what we had in common.

Acceptance is the opposite of judgement. It allows love to flow not only to others but to us. Why? Because when we aren’t spending time forming judgements of others, love can enter. Believe it or not, being loving (kind, accepting, respectful, etc.) is our default mode when our negative thoughts or feelings move out of the way.

So…….. is there anyone or any situation in your life that could benefit from your acceptance? In the privacy of your own mind, why not try it on in some small way. Experiment with a new thought and see how it might feel to let go of any criticism you may currently hold about someone or something. You can keep the criticism if you choose or…… you can choose to open your heart, focus on what is good and let love in.

With love, Jackie

I’m frequently surprised that although there’s so much information readily available in newspapers, magazines, books, on TV, radio and on the Internet, that there are some things that can be really helpful that we either don’t hear about or we hear very little about them. Biotin is one of those things. If your nails aren’t as healthy as you’d like them to be, you might want to give this a try.

Biotin, also known as vitamin B7 or vitamin H, is said to contribute toward healthy hair, skin, and nails. I came upon this accidentally when I went to see the dermatologist. I happened to mention my nails were more brittle, had ridges and split more easily than when I was younger. He suggested I try 3mg of Biotin daily and told me that it would take a couple of months to see the results, so I did. Within the month I could tell there was some improvement.

Attempting to find the best price on Biotin, I checked Costco. I noticed they only carried the 5mg dosage. I decided to stick with 3mg as that was what the doctor suggested and why take more if I didn’t need it. After about six months my nails were better, but I still had some concerns. I decided to try the 5mg dosage for a few months to see if there would be any difference between 3 and 5mg. The end result was, with 5mg of Biotin my nails continued to improve. The splitting, cracking and brittleness was gone however some ridges remain. Are my nails perfect now? No, but there has been a big improvement and they’re calling attention to themselves a lot less often.

When I checked on the side effects Biotin might have, I didn’t find any. As with anything though, if you are pregnant, nursing, or have an underlying medical condition please check with your doctor before trying any over-the-counter supplement or medication. Why? Because everyone responds to things differently and we want to take great care of ourselves. We don’t always know how something that appears harmless might affect our current state of health or interact with drugs or supplements we’re already taking. Being on the safe side and checking with your doctor first can be as simple as a phone call.

With love, Jackie

“I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.” – Ellen DeGeneres

Do you have five minutes? Whenever I’m avoiding something or don’t want to do something I say to myself “Everyone has 5 minutes. Set the timer and just do it for 5 minutes.” It’s not a matter of can I do it, but will I.

Many years ago when I wanted to figure out a way to lose weight permanently, I hated exercising. I’d made many previous attempts at exercising to lose weight and I was underwhelmed with my results. What I heard the experts saying about weight loss and exercise never panned out for me. I believed there was some connection between the two but I wasn’t sure what it was. I did however know that exercise was beneficial in other ways for my mind and body.

As I now wanted the best for myself, I decided to begin exercising in a way that was more comfortable for me. I didn’t listen to the general advice about how to exercise that I’d heard for so long and tried many times before. I started with 5 minutes one day a week. 5 minutes one day a week, I could do that. I wouldn’t hate it and it wouldn’t send me running the other way or avoiding it. In my own time what I found was, since I felt better doing 5 minutes one day a week I increased it to two days, then three and so on. After I increased the number of days, to a point that I actually liked, that felt right for me, I began to gradually increase the amount of time.

Don’t feel you have to listen to the generally accepted recommendations on exercise, or anything else for that matter, if it doesn’t fit for you. Figure out for yourself what’s the tiniest step you could take that doesn’t bring up a negative reaction inside of you and start there. You could start with something as simple as dancing to your favorite song, doing a few repetitions of any exercises you like while you’re watching TV, or substituting yardwork for exercise. Experiment and find what works for you. What makes it possible for you to enjoy exercise? This is a key point because if you enjoy it you’ll want to do it again.  Keep making the choices smaller and smaller until your mind and body say, “OK, I can do that”, or “yes, I’d like to try that.”

This is what I learned. Exercise isn’t just about being fit, healthy or looking better. It’s about caring enough about yourself to take care of YOU. So, I have a question for you. Do you matter, not to the other people in your life, but to you? Are you worth caring about? You may not know it or feel it now, but in the giant scheme of things you matter more than words can say.

With love, Jackie

Many times I’m asked what I do about meals that are usually accompanied by carbohydrates like potatoes, pasta or rice. If I’m eating this meal at lunch, and the type of rice, pasta or potatoes offered are prepared in a healthy way and contain fiber, I will choose the carbohydrate. But for a late afternoon or evening meal cauliflower is my go to food when one of these carbs is standard.

When I started to think about losing weight and maintaining a healthy body permanently, I knew I would need to make peace with vegetables, ugh 😖, my least favorite food. Here’s what I didn’t realize, it wasn’t the vegetables I didn’t like, it was the way I prepared them. (How was that possible?)

Cauliflower was one of them. Steamed cauliflower just didn’t do it for me. I stumbled across the recipe below, which I’ve been using for years. Because I’m not a fan of spending time in the kitchen, this one is quick and easy for me. Though tasty, the taste is also neutral enough so that it goes well under stroganoff, spaghetti, Chinese food or as a substitute for the “mac” in macaroni and cheese. For mac and cheese I add ground turkey to the cheese sauce. You could certainly also use vegetarian crumbles or ground beef.

As I was shopping in the produce aisle the other day I noticed a bag of “chipped cauliflower”. It looked like the pieces of cauliflower were a little bigger than a grain of rice. It said that you could use it, if prepared according to package directions, for a pizza crust! That’s an experiment I’d like to try, how about you?

With love, Jackie

Roasted Cauliflower Recipe 🍲

Ingredients

6 cups fresh cauliflower (about one medium head), cut into small bite-size florets
1/4 to 1/3 cup olive oil depending on the size of the head
1-2 teaspoons kosher or sea salt (use any type salt you like, or if you prefer, leave it out)
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes*
Approximately 1/2 cup of vegetable or chicken broth
Directions
In a large bowl, combine cauliflower florets, olive oil, kosher or sea salt and crushed red pepper flakes, and toss. Add broth to bottom of 13×9 roasting pan. Cover roasting pan with tin foil, poke about 4 to 6 holes in tin foil cover and roast in oven at 400° for 20 to 40 minutes or more depending on how crunchy or soft you like it. Stir and check texture after 20 minutes. Continue roasting until you like the texture. (me this is about 30 minutes.)

* If you don’t like spicy food I would use less or leave the red pepper flakes out. You can also substitute any herb or spice you prefer such as garlic, curry, black pepper etc.