Because I work with many remarkable people dealing with the challenge of weight loss, I frequently get asked this question, “I want to lose weight more than anything, so why am I always choosing things that are inconsistent with weight loss?” I asked that question myself for decades.

Overeating, eating when we’re experiencing any feeling we don’t like, boredom, sadness , anger etc., or eating things that don’t support weight loss, comes from trying not to deal with, or cover over, our painful emotions. It’s the very thing that guarantees those feelings will stick around. When we allow ourselves to feel them and not judge them, they will go, and so will the need to compulsively eat.

We all experience painful or unpleasant emotions from time to time. It’s part of being human. I’ll be the first one to tell you, accepting painful emotions is not the most fun thing and sometimes it’s not easy, but it has a big pay off, FREEDOM. There’s a relief from the pull or control of negative emotions.

It’s helpful to be kind and gentle with yourself while you’re experiencing a painful feeling. Here are some examples, think of a comforting thought, recall a pleasant memory, read a favorite book, go for a walk or have a cup of tea.

Here’s what I’ve learned, the more we spend time doing what we love, the less important food becomes”. When we are doing things that make us happy, food is frequently the last thing on our minds.
The opposite is also true.

So what’s the answer to why we eat when we want to lose weight or adopt healthier habits? We are avoiding feeling painful, unwanted or unpleasant feelings. We are stronger than these negative feelings, and so it is possible to enjoy a healthy life and a sensible weight, but we must choose or the feelings we wish to avoid will remain.

With love, Jackie
P. S. The same is true for any other addiction. Remember that an addiction is much more than just drugs or alcohol. It’s anything we can’t stop doing or over doing.

Is there something you’d like to do in your life that you feel you can’t? That’s a pretty crummy, powerless feeling, wouldn’t you agree? Well I’m here to tell you that YOU CAN . Though it may seem daunting and impossible, and require more courage than you might currently think you have, it is possible. How do you make an impossible thing a possibility? One way I found is by breaking it down into the tiniest of steps, even smaller than “baby steps”. I’ve heard them called micro-steps. Doesn’t just the idea of a micro-step leave you feeling better? For me it takes the stress and fear away.

Here’s an example from my own life. I recently had to get my severely autistic son ready for a surgery and a one day hospital stay. The idea of this terrified me, and my initial thought was, “this is not happening”. Then I realized that thoughts like that were not going to help me or my son navigate through this challenging situation. I decided to change my thinking. I told myself that there was nothing I couldn’t do. The first micro-step was to set my intention for things to go smoothly for my son and everyone involved, and to have a good experience. Changing what I thought from feeling powerless and scared to feeling like there was something I could do, was my second micro-step. Visualizing everything going well and my son and having a good result was my third. I started feeling better and all I did was change my thoughts. Changing my thoughts left me feeling more capable of taking more tiny steps. I’m grateful that my son had a successful outcome and everything went better than I could have imagined.

What I want to say to you is this, the last thing you are is powerless, helpless or hopeless. There is always some tiny action that you can take that will make you feel better. I would encourage you to try it yourself with something small, and see how it works for you. You are so worth it.

With love, Jackie

Somewhere along my weight loss journey (many years ago) I realized that if I was going to be able to keep weight off for a lifetime, I would need some pretty good tasting food and it had to be healthy and easy. So even though spending time in the kitchen is not one of my favorite things, I started to experiment. This became one of my favorites and still is.

Yogurt Sundae

1 cup of frozen raspberries thawed or slightly thawed
1 cup of nonfat Greek yogurt
If desired, artificial sweetener to taste
1/4 cup chopped walnuts or almonds
Mix and Enjoy!

* You can use any berries, fresh or frozen. I like frozen raspberries because they’re high in fiber and because of the way they mix in the yogurt.
Feel free to “concoct” and have fun with your own experiments.

If weight loss is what you’re after, try this at your most challenging time of the day. If it’s in the evening or late at night, I would recommend only making half.

With love, Jackie

Which Direction is Your Compass Pointing? 👆👇

Did you know that we all come equipped with an internal compass that can guide us to our best life? Here’s how it works. When you have a thought or belief about something, or do something that leaves you feeling good, you are going the right way for YOU. When you have a thought or belief about something, or do something that leaves you feeling less than good, you are going the wrong way for YOU.

The worse you feel, the more off course you are.

From my own experience I offer this. There was a time when I didn’t like how I was feeling most of the time. There was a great sadness in my heart but I didn’t know why. I knew what didn’t make me feel good but I didn’t know what would. I decided to try the opposite. Here’s one example. Being overweight made me feel sad and insecure (wrong way for me). After years of yo-yo dieting, I decided I wanted to find a comfortable way to accomplish a healthy body. Even though I hadn’t lost a pound yet, that idea felt much better (right way for me). (In case you are wondering) It took me three bumpy years to get to my healthy weight.

If you don’t feel good, or if you are in emotional pain, you’re going the wrong way.

How do you stop going the wrong way? Put a name to the painful feeling. Don’t distract yourself or bury it. Bring it out in the open. After a moment, ask yourself what would feel better? Shortly thereafter, you will have some new ideas. Try one, see how it feels.
Don’t ever give up on your happiness.

With love, Jackie

Who doesn’t want to look and feel better? I have experimented with several products to create healthy looking skin. There are a few that I think are great. Here’s one of them: Peter Thomas Roth’s FirmX Peeling Gel. I use this once or twice a week. It sloughs off the dead skin you didn’t even know you had, leaving you with a healthy glow. Warning: you might look radiant!

I sampled this first from Sephora, then bought it, $48. It lasts several months.

“Today, do one little thing to take better care of yourself, … then repeat tomorrow”
– bumplife.com

With love, Jackie

P.S.  No, I don’t get this for free or at a discount for suggesting it. It is a personal favorite.

If I could give you only one gift it would be this, the end of self-judgment and self-criticism. It harms your spirit, it takes away your ‘sparkle’, interferes with your creativity and eventually, leaves you feeling helpless or hopeless. How do you end a lifetime of self-judgment you’re not even aware of?  Give the green light to all of your feelings, bad, good or ‘not sure’ and don’t judge them. Don’t listen to anyone, including yourself, telling you it’s not okay to feel that way.   The quickest way to get past unpleasant or painful feelings is to allow yourself to feel them. Then what?  Pick a new thought that you believe and that feels better.  It’s kind of like trying on shirts in the morning.  If the shirt you put on doesn’t look good to you, put on a different one. Keep going until you find one you like, then “wear” it, or in this case repeat it and enjoy it. 

Any positive or kind thought we hold about ourselves chips away at self-criticism.

With love, Jackie

When feeling overwhelmed in any place with any project or task, I tell myself just doing one thing will help me feel better. So, when my space is full of clutter, usually papers, I start with one thing I can do and that makes me feel lighter. It usually leads to one or two other things, and then pretty soon things are looking and feeling better.

When there’s a project I’m avoiding, I tell myself I could work on it for 15 minutes or an hour, some amount of time that doesn’t send me running the other way, even five minutes.
If I find myself in a social situation that’s awkward, I mentally go over my options, head to the bathroom (a quick reboot), smile, ask someone a question, leave graciously, go outside etc. How do you know what’s the right answer? The ‘right’ answer will feel the best to you.

With love, Jackie

Hello everyone, this blog is about feeling better. I’m sharing things that make me feel good.  Some of my interests include weight loss, parenting, skincare, health and personal growth.  All of these things I learned, I wish I had known earlier in life. If it’s useful to you too, home run! Kindly take what works and leave the rest.

By the way…I am a registered nurse with a consulting practice that helps people who have difficulty losing weight and keeping it off, just like I did for decades. I’m a mother of two grown sons, one of whom is severely autistic. Because of life’s challenges, I learned to enjoy taking care of myself. You can too.

And please feel comfortable to share your experience, make comments or ask questions as all are welcome here.
With love, Jackie