Every situation that elicits or brings forth what I might think of as a negative emotion, is an opening to change my thinking to something that feels better, that is more agreeable to me.” – J. Bowden

Uncertainty and unpredictability are a constant and undeniable part of life. Not being able to control others, or the world around us, can often lead to feelings of fear, anxiety or hopelessness. What can we control? We have the power to control OUR thoughts, words, actions and reactions. Since it is a fact that life is fundamentally uncertain, why not choose a way of feeling better as we live our daily lives?

Whether it is in the realm of weight loss, relationships, finances, etc., making a change in our thinking is an act of kindness, a gift to ourselves. When we do this, our current feeling of negativity changes to something positive. The better feeling that results from this change is the gift.

Here’s one example. When my mom passed away, many decades ago, my initial thought was, that with her died any potential for a better relationship. Over time I changed my thoughts to:
1. Our relationship was what it was
2. We both did the best we could at the time
3. It was never meant to be other than it was

With that small improvement in how I viewed things, I let go of my ongoing resistance of wanting things to be other than they were. Holding on to my old thought just kept me feeling stuck and crummy.

What is the alternative to changing our thoughts to be more supportive and kind to ourselves? We can stay stuck and feel resentful or continue to be angry or sad that things aren’t working out the way we want them to. How is that helpful? How does that serve us? What does that get us?

Why not take a moment, close your eyes and search “inside” for any painful or uncomfortable feelings. When you find one, ask yourself how else you might think about it that is also true, and, that might bring you a slightly better feeling. (Note; I have found it helpful to start with something small, like telephone solicitations or my inability to find something).

You can feel good regardless of what is going on with the people and situations in your life. And you can create that for yourself in a way that doesn’t depend on outside circumstances. It is YOUR choice. It all begins with giving yourself the GIFT of a new thought. Who, more than you, deserves that?

With love, Jackie

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